5 Ways to Listen Better | Julian treasure
What are 5 ways to be a better listener?
10 tips for active listening
Face the speaker and maintain eye contact. ...
"Listen" to non-verbal cues as well. ...
Do not interrupt. ...
Listen without judgment or jumping to conclusions. ...
Don't start planning what to say next. ...
Show that you are listening. ...
Do not impose your opinions or solutions. ...
Stay focused.
10 tips for active listening
Listening is an important skill in all areas of life, whether you are supporting a loved one with health problems, dealing with colleagues or in family relationships. But most of us can't listen as well as we'd like to think.
When we show that we're really listening, it's much more rewarding for the person talking to you, and you get more out of it too. This is called active listening and can help avoid misunderstandings and reduce the d for conflict.
Here are 10 simple ways to make your communication more effective and make the other person feel more valued.
1. Face the speaker and make eye contact
Eye contact is an important part of face-to-face conversation. However, too much eye contact can be intimidating, so adapt it to the situation you're in. Try breaking eye contact every five seconds or so to show you're listening carefully, looking at one eye for five seconds and then the other. eye for five seconds, then switch to looking at the mouth. When you look away, looking to the side or up is better than looking down, which can seem like you want to close the conversation.
Check your stance and make sure it's open – avoid crossed arms or legs, which can make you appear "closed" or defensive. Leaning slightly forward or sideways while sitting can show you're listening – as can tilting your head slightly or resting your head on your hand.
2. "Listen" to non-verbal cues as well
Pay attention to what the other person is saying with their body language
Facial expressions, tone of voice and gestures can tell you just as much as what is said in words. Pay attention to what the other person is saying through their body language – for example, is they smiling, or crossing their arms defensively, or rubbing their eyes as if they are tired or upset. Even on the phone, you can learn a lot from the other person's voice, which may sound muffled or upbeat.
3. Do not interrupt
Being interrupted is frustrating for the other person – it gives the impression that you think you are more important or that you don't have time for what they have to say. If you're a naturally faster thinker or talker, force yourself to slow down so the other person can express themselves. Remember that a pause or a few seconds of silence doesn't mean you have to jump in. Letting the other person talk makes it easier to understand their message.
Even interruptions that are in response to something they said can be distracting if it means the conversation veers away from what they were trying to tell you. If this happens, steer the conversation back to "So, you've been telling me about...".
4. Listen without judgment or jumping to conclusions
If you start to react emotionally to what is being said, then it can get in the way of listening to what is said next. Try to concentrate on listening. Likewise, don't assume you know what will be said next.
5. Don't start planning what to say next
You cannot listen and prepare at the same time.
6. Show that you are listening
Nod your head, smile, and make little noises like "yeah" and "uh huh" to show you're listening and encourage the speaker to continue. Don't look at your watch, fidget, or play with your hair or nails.
7. Do not impose your opinions or solutions
It's not always easy, but listening, supporting hearing, can be far more rewarding than telling someone what to do. When a loved one has health issues, they're likely to want to tell you how they feel and get things out of their head, rather than having lots of advice on what to do.
Even in other areas of life, most people prefer their own solutions. If you really must share your great solution, first ask if they want to hear it - say something like "Would you like to hear my suggestions?"
8. Focus
If you find it difficult to focus on what someone is saying, try repeating their words in your head as they say them - this will reinforce what they are saying and help you focus. Try to avoid distractions like other conversations going on in the room. And definitely don't look at your phone.
9. Ask questions
By asking relevant questions, you can show that you have listened and help clarify what was said.
If you're not sure you've understood correctly, wait for the speaker to pause and then say something like "Did you think x..." or "I'm not sure I understood what you were talking about..."
You should also use open-ended questions where possible, such as "How did that make you feel?" "What did you do next?"
10. Paraphrase and summary
Repeating back what was said really shows you've been paying attention and allows the speaker to correct you if you don't understand
Sometimes called reflection, it is repeating what has been said to show that you understand it. This may seem awkward at first, but it actually shows that you've been paying attention and allows the speaker to correct you if you've misunderstood.
If you're not sure how to do this, try starting a sentence with, "It sounds like you're saying..."
And remember… practice makes perfect
Old habits are hard to break, so you'll need to make a conscious effort to become an active listener. Try spending a week summarizing the main points or outcomes at the end of each interview or meeting. This will help you get used to it.
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